第二十回：獨留青塚向黃昏
Chapter 20
“All that’s left a
lonely grave aligned with setting sun”
二人雖然萍水相逢，然而杏姑見他坐懷不亂，又是左一句「任憑姑娘處置」，右一句「我們倆的事慢慢來」，她有感而發：「我老說男女不平等，聽了你一番話，老實說，我就沒有這種雅量！好吧，快隨我來，再晚可能就來不及了。」
Although their meeting had
been quite accidental, when Apricot realized that he was unmoved by a woman
sitting on his lap; plus such remarks as, “do with me as you wish”, and “over
time we can work out our differences”; she exploded, and not without reason:
“I’ve always maintained that men and women were unequal. After listening to what you’ve said,
frankly speaking, I lack that kind of tolerance! All right. Come with me, and be quick. Any later and there’ll be no time.”
杏姑帶著文祥剛轉過山頭，就聽得前面人聲鼎沸，她探頭一看，不遠處還有火光閃爍。杏姑機警地將文祥拉住，閃開正路，躲到一邊。
Once Apricot had led Wen Xiang past the hilltop, they heard a great tumult of voices
ahead of them. She peeked out and
saw the flicker of flames not far ahead. Apricot promptly grabbed Wen Xiang and they slipped away from the main path and hid to
one side.
杏姑慎重地說：「文哥，我可是把這一輩子都交給你啦！桃姐已經是四法王的人了，他要是知道大法王被拘禁了，可就要大興風浪了。我選了你這一邊，蠱我也不放啦，今後會怎樣誰也不知道，但是千萬別讓我落入我兩個姐姐手中。問題是，萬一我們離散了，我該到哪裡去找你呢？」
Measuring her words, Apricot
said, “Wen, I’m placing my life in your hands! Elder sister Peach is an ally of the
Fourth Lord. If he learns that the
First Lord has been imprisoned, he’s going to make trouble. I’ve chosen to side with you and I won’t
poison you with ‘Gu’. No one knows what’ll happen in the
future, but please, don’t let me end up in the hands of my two elder
sisters. The problem is, should we become separated, where will I find you?”
文祥握住那纖纖玉手，心中無限感慨。自己四海為家，從來沒有一個固定的落腳處：「我沒有家，請相信我，妳只要告訴電腦，就一定找得到我。」
Holding her small and
delicate hands, Wen Xiang’s heart was filled with
painful memories. He’d regarded the
whole world as home and had never settled in any one place. “I have no home. Please believe me. All you need do is ask
the computer and for sure you’ll find me.”
眼看來人更近了，杏姑拉著文祥，以樹叢掩護，慢慢繞到來人的後方，兩人躲在一棵合抱的大樹後面，仔細觀看追兵。
It looked like the crowd was
drawing nearer. Apricot took Wen Xiang by the hand, and using the bushes for cover, slowly
circled to the rear of the approaching crowd. The two of them hid themselves behind a
tree, two arms length in circumference, and carefully observed their pursuers.
追者大約有十來個人，各執火把及器械，陸續向山頭走去。杏姑等他們走遠了，這才帶著文祥，從山道一路迴旋下行，來到一處磯石巉屼的河邊。兩人剛走到一塊大石頭旁，就聽到前面有尖銳的人聲，好像正在爭吵。杏姑忙拉著文祥，二人輕悄悄地繞過石頭，文祥伸頭一探，前面是個高穹明敞的巖穴，裡面燈火耀動，桃姑正指著李姑大聲叫罵：「賤貨！現在怎麼辦？妳的氣出完了吧！」
Their pursuers numbered
about a dozen, each carrying a torch and a weapon, and were moving little by little in
the direction of the hilltop. Apricot waited until they were some
distance away before leading Wen Xiang down the
winding mountain trail where they came upon a riverside of sharp and jagged
rocks. They had no sooner reached
the side of a large rock, when ahead of them they heard the sharp sound of
human voices. The voices seemed to
be quarreling. Apricot hastily
grabbed Wen Xiang’s hand and the two of them crept
stealthily around the rock. Wen Xiang raised his head and saw a lofty and spacious
grotto. Light was flickering
inside. Peach was pointing at
「哼！跟妳生氣？犯不著！」是李姑的聲音。
“Huh! Be angry with you? It’s not worth it!” It was
杏姑輕輕附耳對文祥說：「一定是大姐生氣了，可能是二姐把人給放了，二姐一直對那個男的有興趣。」
Apricot whispered at Wen Xiang’s ear, “Eldest sister must be angry. It’s probably because my second elder
sister let them go. She was very
interested in that man.”
文祥問：「是一男一女？」
Wen Xiang
asked, “A man and a woman?”
杏姑說：「你不是知道嗎？」
Apricot said, “Didn’t you
know?”
文祥說：「那男的穿件白褲子？女的穿件紅衣裳？」
Wen Xiang
said, “The man wore white paints and the woman wore a red dress?”
杏姑說：「不是。那男的穿紅色衣服，女的穿綠的。」
Apricot said, “No. The man wore red and the woman wore
green.”
文祥心上一塊大石才算放了下來。
Only at that point was a
heavy weight lifted from Wen Xiang’s heart.
洞裡兩人互罵了一會，李姑顯然有點後悔，這時竟然哭了起來。
The two people in the cave
quarreled for awhile longer. It was
obvious that
桃姑說：「好妹妹，事情已經過去了，我知道妳喜歡他，放了就放了。反正那小子說大法王已被拘禁了，等四法王回來，我就推說被敵人救走了。」
Peach said, “Good
sister. It’s over. I know you like him. If you let them go, so be it. Anyway, the young fellow said the First Lord
had been imprisoned. When the
Fourth Lord comes back, I’ll just claim they were rescued and taken away by the
enemy.”
李姑哭著說：「真的，真的是被人救走的！」
桃姑說：「好！好！就算是吧！」
Peach said, “O.k.! O.k.! Let’s just say that’s what happened!”
李姑說：「妳怎麼從來不相信我？」
桃姑說：「要我相信，妳總得證明給我看呀！」
Peach said, “You’ll have to
prove to me that you’re trustworthy!”
李姑急著說：「我發誓！不是我放的！」
桃姑說：「妳想想，妳發過多少誓？不要再騙我了。」
Peach
said, “Think about it. How
many times have you given your word?
No more lying.”
李姑說：「姐姐，這次我說的是實話！」
桃姑說：「好，我相信妳！我們快去找小妹，這麼久了，她也該回來了，我真不該把她一個人丟在那裡！」
Peach said, “O.k. I believe you! Let’s hurry and find our little
sister. She should be coming back
by now. I shouldn’t have left her
there alone!”
突然半空傳來一陣呼嘯之聲，這聲音文祥在火星上曾聽過，李不俗就是在這毛骨悚然的嘯聲下失去本性的。
A shrill cry suddenly
carried through the air. Wen Xiang had heard this sound when he was on Mars. This was the horrifying sound that had
made Li Busu lose control of himself.
杏姑緊緊捏著文祥的手，將他拉到一個陰暗的角落，說：「四法王回來了，這一帶我很熟，要逃還來得及。」
Apricot held Wen Xiang’s hand tightly and led him over to a dark corner,
saying. “The Fourth Lord is back. I
know this area very well. There’s
still time to escape.”
文娃突然對文祥說：「那兩個人已經逃走了，這裡的事你看著辦，辦完了快點回去，旅館有人等你。」
文祥便對杏姑說：「那我們走吧！」
Wen Xiang
then said to Apricot, “Then let’s get going!”
杏姑在前帶路，儘找些幽冥的小徑，不久就繞到一個小河邊。文祥的生理習慣了月球上的重力環境，雖有重力鞋的調整，到底有些差異，再加上一天的奔波，他早就累了，一路喘氣不已。杏姑憐憫地望著他，說：「來，休息一會，這邊沒有危險了。」
Apricot was leading the way,
choosing only dark or shadowed trails for their route. Before long, they came upon a small
creek. Wen Xiang’s
physiological system had become used to the gravitational environment of the
Moon. Though assisted by gravity
shoes, he could still feel the difference.
Moreover, Wen Xiang had been running around
all day and had already been tired for some time. He panted the entire way. Apricot looked at him with pity, saying,
“Come. Take a rest. It’s not dangerous here.”
她看看周遭，選了一塊較乾淨的石頭，用裙襬揩得乾乾的，再拉文祥坐下。等文祥坐定了，她才坐在他的腳邊，替他脫鞋、揉腳。
She looked around her and
chose a comparatively cleaner rock.
She first wiped the rock by using one corner of her skirt and then
settled Wen Xiang down. After Wen Xian was seated, she sat next
to him, and took off his shoes to rub his feet.
文祥過意不去，止住她說：「我沒有那樣嬌嫩，妳也上來坐坐吧！」
This embarrassed Wen Xiang and he stopped her. “I’m not that out of shape. Why don’t you sit up here as well!”
杏姑說：「我們祖先說，男人腳下有氣，越揉越發。」
Apricot said, “Our ancestors
said that there is ‘qi’
in the bottom of men’s feet. The
more you rub a man’s feet, the more successful he will be.”
文祥說：「我不要發，人一發就賤了。」
Wen Xiang
said, “I don’t want to succeed.
When a man’s successful, he becomes vulgar.”
杏姑把臉貼在文祥腳上，親了親說：「可是我希望你發，再說，這樣我高興。」
Apricot leaned her face
against Wen Xiang’s foot and kissed it, saying, “But
I want you to be successful.
Besides, it pleases me to do this.”
文祥笑說：「男人發了要作怪的。」
Wen Xiang
laughed and said, “When a man is successful, he does strange things.”
杏姑歎道：「那有什麼辦法？所以我們女人只好養蠱了。」
Apricot sighed, “There’s
nothing that can be done about it.
So that’s why women must nourish ‘Gu’.”
文祥問：「有用嗎？」
Wen Xiang
asked, “Does it work?”
杏姑微微一笑，說：「老實告訴你吧！什麼蠱？那是騙人的。」
Apricot smiled and said, “To
tell you the truth! All that fuss
about ‘Gu’? It’s a lie.”
文祥得意地說：「那妳不怕我跑了？」
Wen Xiang
triumphantly said, “Aren’t you afraid that I’ll run away?”
杏姑神色黯然地說：「你真要跑，還有什麼可以拴得住呢？」
Looking gloomy Apricot
replied, “If you really want to run away, what’s there to stop you?”
文祥說：「這樣說不公平，好像都是男人花心，那妳姐姐呢？」
Wen Xiang
said, “It’s not fair to say that.
It sounds like all men are womanizers. How about your
sister?”
杏姑搖頭說：「我姐姐本來也是個痴心人，但是男人傷透了她的心。現在只有我們姐妹三個相依為命……唉，現在只剩下她們兩個了……」
Apricot shook her head. “My sister used to fall deeply in love,
but men hurt her too often. Now the
3 of us only have each other… well, just two of them now...”
文祥說：「妳父母呢？」
Wen Xiang
said, “How about your parents?”
杏姑低下頭去，半晌才說：「可以說是死了吧！」
Apricot lowered her head. After some time she said, “Can I say
they are dead?”
文祥說：「可以說？有什麼不可說的？」
Wen Xiang
said, “Can you say? Why can’t it be
said?”
杏姑抬起頭來，眼中泛著淚珠，她望著文祥，過了一會，好像下定決心，輕輕地說：「我可以告訴你，也不能不告訴你！但是你不能因此瞧不起我。」
Apricot raised her head and
tears were in her eyes. She looked
at Wen Xiang. After awhile, she seemed to
make up her mind. She said softly,
“I can tell you, and I must tell you!
But you mustn’t look down on me because of it.”
文祥說：「如果不方便，妳不必說，可是我保證絕不會瞧不起妳！」
Wen Xiang
said, “If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to say anything. But I promise I won’t look down on you!”
杏姑勇敢地說：「我十歲的時候，我爸爸強暴了大姐姐。事後我媽媽說，如果不讓爸爸得逞，他就要離開我們。」
Apricot said bravely, “When
I was ten, my father raped my eldest sister. Later, my mother told me if she hadn’t
allowed my father to do as he wished, he would have left us.”
文祥說：「妳媽媽太縱容他了。」
Wen Xiang
said, “Your mother was too lenient with him.”
杏姑說：「我們苗人傳統上很重視婚姻，尤其是婦女。」
Apricot said, “We Miaos traditionally value marriage very highly, especially
women.”
文祥說：「強暴是侵犯行為，難道電腦不管嗎？」
Wen Xiang
said, “Rape is abusive behavior.
Didn’t the computer intervene?”
杏姑說：「我們喜歡大自然，經常有兩個家，一個在電腦城裡，一個就是祖先留給我們的碧水山苑。爸爸每次帶我們出來，目的就是要發洩他的獸慾。媽媽一直忍著，我十二歲的時候，二姐也被強暴了。爸爸還說，再過兩年就輪到我了！」杏姑兩行清淚早已簌簌而下。
Apricot said, “We loved
nature and we usually had two homes.
One was in the computerized city, the other was
the Green Water Mountain Villa, passed down to us by our ancestors. Every time my father brought us out, his
purpose was to satisfy his carnal lust.
Mother had silently endured this.
When I was 12, my second eldest sister was raped, too. Father said in another two years it’d be
my turn!” Two rows of tears had
begun to trickle downwards.
文祥溫柔地把她摟在懷中，說：「妳們還和他住在一起嗎？」
Wen Xiang
held her gently in his arms and said, “Do you still live with him?”
杏姑呆了半晌，輕聲說：「沒有。」
Apricot was silent for some
time, then whispered, “No.”
文祥又問：「他終於離家出走了？」
Wen Xiang
asked again. “So he finally left
home?”
杏姑兩眼直直地望著前方，說：「我媽媽把他殺了，是我幫她埋屍的。」
Apricot,
staring into the distance, said, “My mother killed him. I helped her bury the body.”
文祥心上一緊，鼻子也一酸，感歎道：「妳媽媽了不起，她做得對。」
Wen Xiang’s
heart tightened and his tears welled up.
Speaking with deep feeling he said, “Your mother is a marvelous
person. She did the right thing.”
杏姑淚珠終於汩汩而出，她無力地倒在文祥懷裡：「我媽媽後來……自殺了。」
Apricot’s tears at last had
begun pouring forth. She collapsed
weakly in Wen Xiang’s arms. “Later, my mother… killed herself.”
這種醜惡的獸性，不是第一次衝擊文祥了。小倩的魅影令他憤怒，然而她是自發的，傷害的不過是文祥個人的自尊以及對愛情的信念。杏姑卻代表了被迫害的弱者，是父權及力量的流毒，二者同樣的醜陋，卻有完全不同的反思。
This wasn’t the first time
Wen Xiang had been shocked by this kind of ugly
animal nature. The phantom of Xiaoqian made him angry. However, she had volunteered. The only harm had been to Wen Xiang’s self-respect and his trust in love. Apricot, on the other hand, represented
the weak who had been victimized.
It was the evil effect of paternal authority and power, both of them
equally ugly, but from totally different viewpoints.
更深一層來看，兩者也有不同的意義。小倩的事情只是文祥對災關認知的開始，那時候文祥眼裡只有自己，只關心一己的感受。火星之旅後，文祥變了，他踏出了個人世界，開始思考宇宙的本質。
Upon looking deeper, they
had different meanings as well. The
incident of Xiaoqian marked the beginning of Wen Xiang’s ability to recognize challenges. At that time, in Wen Xiang’s
eyes there was no one but himself, and he cared for nothing but his own
feelings. After his trip to Mars,
Wen Xiang had changed. He had stepped out of his personal
world, and began to consider the essential character of the universe.
人自出生開始，便一天天地成長，每成長到一個時期，就會有不同的需求。每種需求都會迫使人進入另一個階段，又開始成長。為什麼會這樣呢？文祥體會到，在每次成長後，認知和能力固然不斷提昇，世界卻不再像先前那樣黑白分明 了。
Beginning from the moment of
birth, a person matures day by day.
At certain periods they will have different needs. Every need will force that person to
enter another stage of life, at which point he once again begins to grow. Why is this? Wen Xiang
could sense that following every increase in maturity, though his understanding
and ability improved, the world was no longer as plainly black and white as it
had once been.
人生如此，萬事萬物是不是也這樣呢？是不是也在成長呢？宇宙本身是不是一個成長的過程？如果是，這樣成長下去，又會怎樣呢？這一次，他見識了紅教的教主、尊者，他體會到了那種無所不知、無處不在的境界。
If life was like this,
wasn’t everything else the same, as well?
Were they growing, too? Is
the universe itself a process of growing?
If so, what would happen if it kept on growing as it so far had
been? This time he’d met the sect
leader and sages of the Red Sect.
He had experienced the state which was all-knowing and was to be found
everywhere.
再回過頭來看，站在生命的立場，無論是小倩或杏姑父親的行為，都是生理壓力的作用。生命界需要物種的延續，性就是延續的原始力量。等到生命的基礎穩固了，生命就不再是宇宙成長主要的目的，而進入了下一個階段。那就應該有另一種需求，另一種成長。而對那些無法成長、或者是被性所奴役的不幸的人，他們無可避免的命運，便是沉淪在原來的階段中。
Now turn around to look at
these two things. From the
standpoint of life, no matter if it was Xiaoqian or
Apricot’s father, their behavior came from biological
pressure. The world of life
requires the species to continue their lineage and sex is the primal force
driving procreation. When the
foundation of life is stable, life is no longer the main goal of maturation in
the universe. It enters to the next
stage. So there should be another
need and another development.
However, to those unfortunate people who can’t develop, or are
controlled by sex, their inevitable destiny is to be damned to always remain at
their present level.
波光山影，月色溪聲，兩個人就這樣輕偎低傍著，月兒從天空劃過，假如有一個人，也在莫高峰下拿著超倍率望遠鏡看地球，或許可以見到這悲涼的畫面。黑夜是無情的，月亮就是這無情世界的見證，人間有多少發生在黑暗裡的醜惡，夜夜噬嗑著人們的心靈？
The two of them huddled
close together in the moonlight, surrounded by mountain shadows and the sound
of a running creek. The moon cut
through the sky. If there were
someone on top of
天空像一條龐大的烏魚，當月亮漸漸接近西天時，烏魚便將身子一翻，東方現出了魚肚白。杏姑被那道光明突然驚醒，從文祥懷裡掙扎開，靜靜地望著文祥，半晌無言。
The sky was like a gigantic
black fish. When the moon gradually
approached the western sky, the black fish turned over, and from the eastern
sky emerged the white belly of the fish.
Apricot was suddenly awakened by its brightness and she struggled free
from Wen Xiang’s embrace. She looked at Wen Xiang
in silence and didn’t speak for some time.
文祥還沒有醒，他實在太累了，像一灘爛泥，軟軟地躺在石隙剜空處。杏姑看看眼前這個陌生人，想想昨夜的情懷，再仰望東天旭日藏輝。光明澄清了理智，她猶豫了，平素孤芳自賞，不齒兩個姐姐的行為。自己居然也能在幾杯黃湯下肚後，一夕之間，就與一個素昧平生的男子私奔，這豈不是自我作賤？
Wen Xiang
wasn’t awake yet. He was really too
tired. He felt like a stretch of
boggy ground lying feebly between
stones. Apricot looked at this
stranger in front of her and recalled their intimacy of the night before. Then she looked up to see the bright sun
light hidden behind the mountains to the east. The brightness clarified her rationality
and she hesitated. Usually she was
narcissistic and she despised the behavior of her two sisters. Unexpectedly, after a few cups of wine,
in one night she had eloped with a strange man she had never met before. Wasn’t this demeaning to herself?
理智是指「事物的紋理現象，因日出天明而得知者」。杏姑的理智清醒了，但文祥的君子之風確令她心儀不已。若文祥為人果真如此，而不是一時的偽裝，這種夫婿何處可尋？然而，婚嫁不是兒戲，怎能不慎其始？
Rationality means “the
threads of phenomena found in objects which are understood in the clear light
of day”. Apricot’s rational
processes were now awake. She had
nothing but admiration for Wen Xiang’s gentleman-like
behavior. If Wen Xiang was truly a gentleman and not just putting on an act,
where could she find a better husband?
However, marriage was not child’s play. She couldn’t afford to be careless right
from the start.
再說自己過往的遭遇，兩個姐姐的悲情，難道就這樣置之腦後？人生不能兩全，自己要有個無悔的取捨。可能嗎？說來容易，兩個姐姐的下場難道不是自己的鏡子？杏姑望著紆曲的山溪，溪水嗚咽，敗絮殘花漂浮水面，更將漂零何方？
Moreover, could she just
leave behind her own past experience and the misery of her two sisters? In life it’s impossible to have things
both ways. She had to make a choice
that she wouldn’t regret afterwards.
Was this possible? Easier said than done.
Could the fate of her two sisters be a mirror of her own? Apricot looked at the winding mountain
creek. The stream sobbed, fallen
willow catkins and flower petals floated on its surface. Where would they ultimately wind
up?
杏姑的啜泣聲把文祥驚醒了，他一見杏姑的模樣，大驚道：「妳怎麼了？」
Apricot’s sobbing stirred
Wen Xiang from his sleep. When he saw the state she was in, he
exclaimed in alarm, “What’s wrong?”
帶雨的杏姑咬緊牙關，堅定地說著：「文哥，我想了一夜，決定回去了，回到我那可憐的姐姐身邊。我相信你不會對我不好，但是我知道如果跟你走了，姐姐一定活不下去，我是她唯一的希望。如果為了認識不到一天的你，就不顧十幾年的姐妹，那我也太無情無義了……以前我常看到姐姐偷偷哭泣，我還笑她！從今以後，我再也笑不出來了。我現在才知道，為什麼小孩子一生下來就哭，因為人生是這麼苦！」
Weeping, Apricot summoned
her resolution and said firmly, “Wen, I’ve thought it over all night and I’ve
decided to go back; back to my poor sisters. I believe you would never mistreat me,
but I know if I went with you, my sisters wouldn’t be able to survive. I’m their only hope. To discard my sisters, who I’ve been with
for more than a dozen years, for you, whom I’ve only known for less than a day,
would be heartless and disloyal… There were many times in the past when I came
upon my sister secretly weeping. I
even laughed at her! From now on,
I’ll never be able to laugh again.
Now I understand why children cry when they are born. It’s because life means nothing but
suffering!”
文祥目送那嬌小的身軀，頭也不回地往前走，在朦朧的山霧中，慢慢消逝在山水的一角。正如一場春夢，來得快，去得也急。不過前一刻，文祥還在擔心這燙手蕃芋，眼前，淚水卻濕透了他的衣襟。這時他才領悟到紅教教主說的佛偈：
Wen Xiang
watched that small figure move forward without even looking back. In the veil of mountain mist, she slowly
disappeared from view around the corner where mountain and water meet. It was just like a spring dream: swift
to come, swiftly to go. Just a
moment before, Wen Xiang had been worried about how
to handle this thorny problem. But
now his shirt was soaked with tears.
At this moment he finally understood the Buddhist riddle told by the
leader of the Red Sect:
『一切有為法，如夢幻泡影，如露亦如電，應作如是觀。』
‘All phenomena are like
a dream, an illusion, a bubble, and a shadow.
Like dew and lightning,
Thus should you meditate
upon them.’
良久，良久，文祥才對文娃說：「走吧！」
Only after a very long time
did Wen Xiang say to
文娃說：「我不知道『心』是什麼東西，我卻知道我沒有『心』。不過，今天我突然感覺到有『心』的重量了。」
「不要說笑話，我笑不起來。」
“No jokes. I don’t feel like laughing.”
「這不是笑話，如果我是男人，我會留住杏姑！」
“This is no joke. If I were a man, I’d keep Apricot!”
「誰說妳是女人？」
“Who said you’re a
woman?”
「不要說笑話，我一直以為我們是理性的，今天我才發覺，理性的基礎原來建立在感性上。杏姑的決定是理性的，所以深合我心，但是，她的理性完全基於對她姐姐的感情。所以我們又上了一課，實在說，我的感性比理性還多，只可惜我沒有眼睛。」
“Quit kidding. I always thought that we were
rational. But today I discovered
that the foundation of rationality is built upon sensibility. Apricot’s decision was rational so it
suits me very well. However, her
rationality was based on her feelings toward her sisters. So we’ve learned another lesson. To tell the truth, my sensibility
exceeds my rationality. It’s a pity
I don’t have eyes.”
「妳沒有眼睛？這是什麼意思？」
“You don’t have
eyes? What do you mean?”
「我的眼淚流不出來呀！」
“My tears don’t flow!”
「看來教主說對了，過不了情關的是妳！」
“Looks
like the sect leader was right.
You’re the one who can’t pass the challenge of love!”
「大哥莫說小妹，你我差不多。」
“Big brother, don’t
lecture this young sister. You and
I are about the same.”
文祥揩乾了眼淚，說：「放心，我不是過了這一關嗎？」
Wen Xiang
dried his tears and said, “Don’t worry.
Didn’t I pass this challenge?”
「不！這只證明了你無情！」
“Nope! It only proved that you’re heartless!”
「妳叫我怎麼辦？一個人能處處留情嗎？」
“What do you expect me
to do? Can a person show kindness
everywhere he goes?”
「為什麼不能？」
“Why
not?”
「情是獨佔的，泛濫會成災。」
“Love is
possessive. Abusing it would mean
disaster.”
「不！慾才是獨佔的。情未必只是兩性之間的感覺而已，你沒看過紅樓夢嗎？『情之一字，喜怒哀樂未發之時，便是個性。』我現在才知道，我們電腦只是無慾，我們用情之深，不是你們人類所能想像的。只是過去沒有用心想過，由杏姑的遭遇，我們才理解到，難怪人總把我們當作機器，因為我們本來就是機器！」
“No! Lust is possessive. Love is not necessarily the feelings
between two sexes. Haven’t you read
the book, Dream of the Red Chamber? ‘As for the word love: before happiness,
anger, sadness, and joy have developed, it is one’s character.’ I didn’t realize it until now. We computers have no lust but our love
is more profound than you humans can imagine. It’s just that in the past, I didn’t
consider it carefully. What
happened to Apricot has made us realize that it’s
small wonder humans treat us like machines, for that’s precisely what we
are!”
「現在呢？」
“And
now?”
「剛才聽到杏姑的故事，我們去查資料庫。這才發覺這類悲慘的事太多了，奇怪的是，每一個陷入這種悲劇的當事人都苦痛不堪，卻又不能自拔。以杏姑的父親為例，在家裡成天面對三個閉月羞花的青春少女，只因一時把持不住，便沉淪苦海。在我們的記錄中，他父親雖曾一再懺悔，但我們根本不管，真是愚不可及。」
“After hearing Apricot’s
story, we checked our database and found there were too many tragic examples of
this nature. Oddly enough, every
victim involved in this kind of tragedy is suffering unbearable torment but
they can’t pull themselves away from it.
Take Apricot’s father for example.
He was facing 3 beautiful young girls at home everyday. Because he temporarily failed to control
himself, he sank into the ocean of suffering. In our record, though her father
repented again and again, we never took any heed. What unparalleled stupidity.”
「以後呢？」
“And
from now on?”
「以後我們應該正視問題，可是，該怎麼辦呢？我們還不知道。為什麼要成長呢？愚昧有什麼不好？」
“From now on, we
should address these problems. But,
what can we do? We don’t know yet. Why does one have to grow up? What’s wrong with being ignorant?”
「我也在想這個問題，我發覺成長並不是件快樂的事。」
“I was just thinking
of the same question. I’ve
discovered that growing up is not a pleasant experience.”
「但是，誰能拒絕成長呢？根據我們的資料庫，宇宙中沒有一個不成長的系統。唯一的分別只是快慢遲速，我可不願走在你後頭。」
“But, who can refuse
to grow up? According to our database,
there’s not a system in the universe that isn’t developing. The only difference is their speed:
fast, slow, late or swift, I’m determined not to fall behind you.”
「唉，待會再想吧，我實在太累了。」
“Ai, let’s think about
it later. I’m really tired.”
「還能走路嗎？還是我送你回去吧！」
“Can you still
walk? Perhaps I should send you
back!”
文祥乘了文娃提供的飛雲梭，由上空直接回到旅館。他一跨進房門，就大吃一驚，眼前站著的，居然是他的侄女文湘琳。
Wen Xiang
took the Flying-cloud Shuttle provided by
文祥臉一扳，說：「誰叫妳來的？」
Wen Xiang
pulled a long face and said, “Who told you to come?”
文湘琳一夜未眠，心裡七上八下的，一見文祥更是張口結舌。再看叔叔滿面秋霜，劈頭第一句話就責備她。一口惡氣突然上衝，眼前一黑，雙腿發軟，人就昏了過去。
Wen Xianglin
hadn’t slept the previous night and she was in a flurry of indecision. As soon as she saw Wen Xiang, she became even more tongue-tied. Then there was her uncle’s frosty manner
and the first words out of his mouth were rebuke. She suddenly felt nauseated. Everything went black, her legs gave out
from under her and she fainted dead away.
文娃說：「快把她抱上床，生理治療是我們的事，其他要看你了。」
文祥不及細聽，早已將倒地的文湘琳抱起，她弱體輕身，不過文祥真是累了，一抱上手，就覺得四肢乏力，不得不緊緊將她摟住。這一刻肌膚相親，軟玉溫香，再看她骨肉勻停，膚如凝脂。文祥心旌搖搖，他感到一股電流從尾椎一直震顫到天靈。
Wen Xiang
didn’t wait for her to finish. He
was already picking up Wen Xianglin from where she
lay on the floor. She was weak and
underweight. However, Wen Xiang was really tired. As soon as he picked her up, he felt his
limbs giving out. He could only
hold her tight. At this moment of
intimacy, Wen Xiang noticed her soft body and
fragrant scent, how evenly proportioned were her flesh and bones, her skin as
smooth as butter. His mind was
stirred and he felt an electric current jolt him from his spine to the top of
his head.
文祥想起了杏姑的父親，他朝夕與三個女兒相處，只要稍一不慎，這種震撼終有一天會衝破良知的堤防！古人說『男女授受不親』，不正是為了防微杜漸嗎？今人追求自由，強調性開放，開門揖盜的結果，不過是自食惡果吧了！
Wen Xiang
thought of Apricot’s father. He was
together with his three daughters day and night. All it would take was one careless
mistake, and this jolt would some day surge and break through the protective
barriers of innate moral sense! The
ancients said, “it is improper for man and woman to
hold hands”. Wasn’t that precisely
the way to guard against gradually creeping moral corruption? Today people pursue freedom and sexual
liberation. If one opens the door
to invite a thief, they must suffer the evil consequences.
在二十一世紀初期，有人做過統計，在所有後工業國家，每四個人當中，就有一個曾遭到性侵犯。而其中屬血親亂倫的，每十個中就有一個！ 學者追究其因，完全是性觀念開放，媒體公開宣揚，以及人的自制能力薄弱所致。
In the early 21st
century, someone compiled statistics revealing that in every
post-industrialized country, one out of four people was
sexually violated. And of these,
one out of ten was incest! Scholars investigating the reason, concluded it was caused entirely by the concept of
sexual liberation, as spread by the media, and weakened self-control.
可是，這何嘗不是成長所要付出的代價呢？摔一跤，爬起來，再摔，再爬！總有一天能站得穩穩的！如果有人賴在地上不起來，有人摔怕了不敢走路，自然就不能站穩了。文娃剛才說：「其他要看你了」，看我什麼？看我成長！
But, isn’t this the price of
growing up? When you fall down, you
get up. Fall again, you get up
again! Someday, you’ll be able to
stand firmly! If someone remains on
the ground and won’t get up, or someone doesn’t dare walk because they’re
afraid of falling, for sure they’ll never be able to stand on their own two
feet.
就以自己懷中的侄女為例，身體感官不具良知，它只基於各種物理性質，將一個有利於感受的訊號，忠實地傳到自己的心裡。自己不能不承認這種感覺是美好的，希望保持下去。然而感官是為了生命的延續而設計的，一種美好的感覺立刻觸發了另一種需求。每往前一步，就踏入下一個陷阱，自制能力稍弱一點，一發便不可收拾。
Take, for example, this
niece of his he was holding in his arms.
The sense organs of a physical body do not come equipped with a
conscience. Based on the various
qualities of physics, they dutifully transmit a signal of pleasure directly to
the
mind. One
can’t deny this feeling is desirable and wishes to prolong it as long as
possible. However, sense organs are
designed for the continuation of life.
A good feeling immediately triggers another need. Every time he takes the next step, he
falls into a trap. When this
happens to a person of weak self-control, it is like opening a Pandora’s
Box.
人最大的無知就是不肯正視自己的弱點。文祥是人，他知道自己的弱點，他不是對異性沒有需求，他只是受過傷害，因而刻意躲避。這一次，他好不容易找到了心目中的對象，卻是好事多磨，衣紅一直只是個記憶中的影子。
Man’s greatest ignorance is
his unwillingness to confront his own weakness. Wen Xiang was
a man, and he knew his weakness. It
wasn’t that he had no need for the opposite sex. But he had been hurt once and for this
reason chose to avoid them. This
time he had finally found the girl of his dreams, but the course of true love
seldom runs smooth. Yi Hong was
nothing but a shadow in his memory.
另一方面，自踏出月球後，生理也一再面臨考驗，最初是格瑞達，她沒有造成威脅，不過是機緣不足。胡妁也過去了，那是她的成熟與穩重，使他免受誘惑。文湘琳曾引誘過他，不可能發生是因為環境不對。杏姑幾乎是一個重大的難關，邀天之幸，他處置得當，任其自然，反而因禍得福，平安渡過。
On the other hand, after
leaving the Moon his physical body had been tested over and over again. At first it was Greda. She was never a threat because the force
that had brought them together was inadequate. Hu Shuo had slipped away because her maturity and composure
had presented no temptation to Wen Xiang. Wen Xianglin
had tried to seduce him. The reason
nothing happened was because the circumstances were wrong. Apricot had almost been a challenge of
the greatest magnitude. Thank god
that he had handled it well and just let things take their natural course. Unexpectedly, out of adversity had come
good fortune, and he had passed it safely.
現在，懷中這個青春美豔、嬌憨熱情的少女，她彈性的肌膚泛著柔潤的光澤，呼吸的韻律吐露著玲瓏的起伏。不需要任何外來的催化，只要自己願意，生理感官就會十全十美地完成它們的使命！
Now, this youthful,
beautiful, delicate, and passionate young girl, with firm skin and glowing
sheen, lay in his arms. The rhythm
of her breathing revealed the handsome curve of her body. Wen Xiang
needed no urging. All that was
required was his willingness and the sensual organs of his physical body would
perform their mission perfectly!
文祥眼前出現了一個長江三峽拉縴的景象，在過去動力不足的時代，人們為了克服自然的力量，不得不借用人力。一艘逆流而上的江船，在懸溜迅急的河水中奮力前進，船首激起尺許高的浪花。一根粗如人臂的纜繩，從幾個衣不蔽體的拉縴人一直連繫到船頭。那些人肩臂緊縛著纜繩，身體則繃直在凹凸不平的坻岸上，人與地幾乎是平行的。只有幾隻腳緩緩地蠕動著，似乎承受著人類全部的苦難，掙扎著努力向上。
Right before Wen Xiang’s eyes there emerged a scene of people hauling a
tow-rope as they dragged a boat upstream at the Three Gorges of the
人生不正是逆流而上的旅程嗎？三峽代表了生命進化的軌跡，河水則是動力，江船是人體，而逆流上行的卻是人的意志。人的意志洩漏了天機，唯有意志可以讓人擺脫生命進化的方向，而需要付出的代價，則是拉縴人的體力！
Isn’t life a journey
upstream? The Three Gorges are the
tracks of evolution with the river their propelling force. The riverboat is the human body and it’s Man’s will that strives to move upstream, against the
current. Man’s
will reveals the hidden plans of providence. Only will can
allow Man to change the course of evolution. And the tow-men pay the price!
就是那根縴繩，把人類由野獸巢穴中拉了出來，拉進原始時代，拉進上古時代，拉進了人類文明，而且還不斷地向上拉，直要拉到智慧的源頭為止。
It was the same tow-rope
that pulled Man out from the lair of beasts. It pulled Man into the primeval times;
into primordial times; into civilization.
And it will continue to pull him upward until he reaches the source of
wisdom.
如果船身太重，人不想再奮鬥，只要一鬆纜繩就解決了！在此刻，在一念之間，文祥大可以感歎一下「蜀道之難難於上青天，側身西望長咨嗟」，去做那「大江東去，浪淘盡」的風流人物！
If the riverboat is too
heavy, and Man no longer wishes to struggle, all he needs to do is let go of
the rope! At that instant, that
moment of decision, Wen Xiang could have deeply
sensed that “The road to Shu
is more difficult than scaling the blue sky. Facing west I heave a long sigh of
regret” (Note 1). I could become a
hero of derring-do, as in the poem, “the Yangzi flows
east, washing away a thousand years of bold heroes” (Note 2).
文祥輕輕把文湘琳放在床上，除了那根縴繩外，衣紅也拉了他一把。這一陣狂風駭浪，讓文祥精疲力竭，他扎掙著，勉力倒在沙發上。
Wen Xiang
placed Wen Xianglin gently on the bed. Aside from that tow-rope, Yi Hong gave
him a hand as well. After this
violent wind and raging waves, Wen Xiang was
exhausted. He struggled and with
great effort managed to collapse on the sofa.
不一會，經過電腦內植晶片的調節，文湘琳醒了。她坐起來，見文祥臉色轉緩，乍著膽子說：「叔叔！爹爹變了，他不許我留在家裡。」
After awhile, following the
adjustment of her implanted chips, Wen Xianglin woke
up. She sat up and saw Wen Xiang’s expression had relaxed somewhat. Summoning her courage she said,
“Uncle! Dad has changed. He won’t allow me to stay home.
文祥歎了一口氣，說：「妳怎麼到我這裡來的？」
Wen Xiang
sighed and said, “How did you get here?”
「是電腦告訴我的，而且還幫我安排行程！」
“The computer told me
and it helped me arrange my schedule!”
文祥如夢初醒，用指語對文娃說：「是妳在考我？是吧？」
Wen Xiang
felt like he was waking from a dream.
He used finger language to ask
「你是我的感性，我是你的理性，我相信你願意接受挑戰！」
“You’re my sensibility
and I’m your rationality. I believe
you’re willing to accept the challenge!”
自從亮了一顆佛珠後，文娃已經略具人性，變得主動而開放，文祥知道可以幽她一默了：「怎麼樣？滋味如何？」
Ever since one prayer bead
had become luminous, there was something rather human about
「嗯……還沒有感受出來，要多幾次經驗。」
“Mmm…
I don’t feel anything yet. I need
more experience.”
文祥緊張了：「別開我玩笑，萬一過不了關怎麼辦？」
Wen Xiang
was nervous. “Quit kidding. What if I can’t pass the test?”
「那有什麼關係？反正我進天堂，你在畜牲道輪迴。也不過是多做幾回習題，總有一天會過關的！」
“What does it
matter? Anyway, I’m going to heaven
and you’ll be reincarnated in the animal world. It just means practicing a few more
times. Someday you’ll pass!”
「好說！到那時，我已經名譽掃地了！」
“Well! By that time, my reputation will be
ruined!”
「嗯！『我相』！」
“Umm!
‘The sense of self’!”
「我過不了關對妳有什麼好處？」
“What’s in it for you
if I don’t pass the test?”
「別拖我下水，你與我無干！」
“Don’t drag me into
this. You and I have nothing to do
with each other!”
文祥得意了：「嗯！也是『我相』！」
Wen Xiang
was elated. “Umm! More ‘sense of self’!”
文湘琳見文祥沉默不語，不敢再說話，低著頭，偷偷用餘光掃視。一發現文祥嘴角有了笑意，她立刻湊過去，撒嬌道：「叔叔！別裝得和我爹爹一樣嘛！我知道你喜歡我來，我也知道……」
Wen Xianglin
saw that Wen Xiang had fallen silent so she didn’t
dare utter another word. She
lowered her head and covertly eyed Wen Xiang from the
corner of her eye. When she spotted
a smile at the corners of Wen Xiang’s mouth, she
quickly moved over and said coquettishly, “Uncle! Don’t pretend to be like my father! I know you’re happy I’m here. I also know…”
文祥這才想起文湘琳還在一旁，文娃說得不錯，這是一個挑戰。好！應戰吧！
Wen Xiang
then remembered that Wen Xianglin was still beside
him.
「來來！我們好好聊聊，妳喜歡什麼氣氛？」文祥一邊說，一邊遍搜枯腸。他必須一次把問題解決，否則真如文娃說的，要墮入畜牲道了。
“Come! Let’s talk. What kind of atmosphere do you
like?” As Wen Xiang
was talking, he racked his brains for inspiration. He had to solve this problem once and
for all. Otherwise, it would be
just as
文湘琳優雅地站起來，步步生蓮地走到窗旁，說：「帶我去威尼斯吧！我要徜徉在義大利情歌裡。」
Wen Xianglin
stood up gracefully and moved to the window with dainty steps, saying, “Take me
to
文祥立刻選了一幅水鄉風景，明霞閃處，眼前一亮。文湘琳正站在橋邊，微風揚起她的秀髮，牽引她的衣袂，整個人活潑而嬌俏。背景是連綿高聳的石牆，拱形石橋，橋上行人紛紛，橋下水波粼粼，碎浪隨風，和風依浪，更有那嘹亮的歌聲，響遏行雲。
Wen Xiang immediately chose a water scene. Bright light quivered and a lovely vista presented itself